Hey my peeps I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted, I’m planning a trip to Israel next year so that I can walk on the same sand Jesus walked over 2000 years ago. I’m working extra shifts to pay for my trip, it’s very important for  my physical and spiritual well being I need a special touch from the Lord, He’s the only person who can set me free from the spiritual bondage I’ve been in since my molestation as a kid and teenager, every time I feel like I’ve progressed two steps forward life turns around and knock me backwards four steps then I find myself playing CATCH UP with God HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW OR FEEL WHAT I’M SAYING? I’m battling good and evil in my mind daily, my actions and behaviors are representative of Jesus I never want to disappoint Him or sin against Him I love and respect Him too much and when I do fail I immediately repent asking for forgiveness to those I’ve hurt and praying my eventual consequences will be a little easy on me once they occur. My main struggle is lust, (thanks to my dad and uncle) I’ve had no control of it since the age of 9 and with me being single it’s difficult not to return to the promiscuous behavior in my past there are two many diseases out there and the men aren’t exactly worth my time so I find myself praying a lot when those urges come not saying that I haven’t been intimate over the years I just hate the sin behind it. Parents never realize the consequences of their behaviors directed to or around their children I didn’t ask to be molested, I didn’t ask to be violated I was the victim then BUT I’M NOT ANYMORE just because you’ve been victimized don’t make you a victim because through Jesus I am victorious no matter the struggle because whom the son has set free is free indeed so I am free by the power of God now my spirit must began to train my body and mind accordingly so I will continue to give in to my lustful feelings during my weak moments but instead of being hard on myself and feeling guilty I will continue to trust in God’s grace, mercy, and unconditional love to pull me through Proverbs 3:5-6 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THINE HEART AND LEAN NOT TO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING IN ALL THY WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE WILL DIRECT MY PATH. I thank you Lord for forgiving my sins please help me to BE and DO better in your eyes. I love you Lord. My peeps no matter what life throws at you each day know that Jesus loves you and doesn’t want us to hurt but in those hurts He can build up our faith in Him for He knows what’s best for us. I’m learning how to seek Him especially when I’m hurting and He has always been there to comfort me there is no better feeling or SAVIOR than He. Be blessed my peeps we’ll chat soon.

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